:: Heartbroken

"Break my heart, God, for what breaks Yours."

I believe God's heart is breaking for the orphan.  I've been struggling lately with the desire to adopt again, and how to reconcile this desire with current family circumstances.  I'm not sure what is ideal anymore, but I do know that now is not the best time for us to consider adoption.  So why is MY heart breaking for the orphans?  What can little insignificant *me* do about it?

Orphan Sunday...

is this Sunday, November 7. My prayer is that many churches take the opportunity to shine a light on the almost 150 million orphans around the world. Whether it's a small video clip, an insert in the bulletin, or (bless the church that is actually willing to do this) a whole sermon dedicated to the plight of the orphan.

At the very least, I ask you to please pray for those who are fatherless around the world...the ones who wait daily for their forever family...

Hope is Fading – Orphan Sunday from Allan Rosenow on Vimeo.

Why Adopt?

I just recently posted this bumper sticker on my facebook page. It’s a BOLD statement, one that I knew could cause some controversy. Does this mean to be “pro-life” you need to adopt? On some level, I believe yes! To take a pro-life stance is to take a pro-child stance. If we ask others to keep their babies that were conceived not in the best of situations, to most likely be born not into the best of situations, we need the resources to care for those children in the event that they are orphaned or given up for adoption. Those “resources” should be the ones who ask demand that no child be murdered in the womb…Christians.


Hear me out. We are called by God to care for the orphans of the world (James 1:27). What does this look like? To me, at first it looked like sending money to some obscure orphanage in some obscure region in some poor country. And maybe, just maybe, someday I would go and physically be there in a show of support and Christian love…just to eventually leave for my cushy life in the US and resume the money-sending.

Until I began the process of adopting an orphan.

My true belief is that when we are called to care for orphans, we are called to give them homes…to give them parents! I don’t believe that there is one child out there who does not painfully yearn for a forever family. Even in the best of situations (when the orphanage is run well, is stocked with all necessities, has loving caregivers, etc.), children constantly look at the front door wondering, “when will my parents come to take me home?” (just ask a first-hand witness…my son). Sadly, most orphans do not receive quality care and many are left to lay in cribs day in and day out, being fed by bottles with the tips cut off so that they drink it quickly and the “caregiver” can move on to the next child asap. They rarely reach the age-appropriate milestones that are so critical in childhood development…thus severely handicapping them for life as an adult. Is this what God wants? For us to *only* send money so that these kids can languish in orphanages like that? For them to eventually become disconnected and ostracized members of adult society (if they don’t commit suicide before then)? I’m not so sure. For we were adopted into the family of God…He took us as his own - despite our seeming unworthiness - and promised us everlasting life with Him…NOT apart from Him (Eph 1:5).  Shouldn't we do the same?

Don’t get me wrong, I am SO not against sending money to support orphanages. On the contrary, we Christians should do everything we can to make sure that orphanages are supported and properly equipped. And I believe there is a niche of Christians who can easily do this…the unmarried, the elderly, the couples who do not feel called to have children, the families who are no longer expanding…yada, yada. But I would issue this challenge to those married couples who do want children…consider adoption. In Russia alone, there is over ¾ of a million orphans. That’s just one country. There’s also China, Africa, Latin American, South America, Europe, Haiti…and our own backyard, the USA. It’s utterly heartbreaking how many beautiful amazing children out there need forever families.

Adoption. Is it scary? Yes. Is it overwhelming? Yes. Is it uncomfortable? Yes, at times. Is it a blessing beyond comprehension? YES! I truly believe that God equips people with honest discernment when they earnestly seek His will in adoption. Does this mean everyone should pursue adoption? No, not necessarily. While I am very opinionated and passionate about this subject, I cannot (and will not) condemn others for not adopting. Ultimately it is a decision reached through much prayer and supplication. And it is a decision reached with God at the helm. Personally, I just find it disturbing that, out of so many Christian families expanding in America, so few even consider adoption. I’d like to see us getting a little out of our comfort zone…and a little out of the “but it’s not MY child” mentality. Because, Frankly speaking, even our biological children are on loan to us in this world. All children ultimately belong to God, but it’s up to US to care for them while we are all here. I’d love to someday see the seemingly impossible dream of orphanages becoming obsolete become reality…wouldn’t that be just so awesome?!

Oh, and there is always foster care to consider... ;)

"Meant to Be"

I can't help but think of my amazing son when I hear this song...

Bittersweetness...

Today is my baby's 2nd birthday. Hard to believe. While I am so excited to see her happy, healthy and independent, I am also sad to see her, well, independent. This is the day where I can no longer refer to her age in months. This is the year where diapers will no longer be needed (fingers crossed). We will soon have to dig up the instructions on how to turn her crib into a bed.  Baby Center sent me an update about my preschooler, not toddler anymore. *SOB*
The reality is, she IS my baby...and always will be.  Our plan is to not have any more biological children, but most likely adopt again...most likely a child between E and C's ages.  So, it is with bittersweet certainty (pending a catastrophic failure of birth control) that another baby will not be in our future.
On the other hand, many of my friends keep pro-creating on a regular basis so I will be able to live vicariously through them. :)

Happy 2nd Birthday my little Bug!!

June 26, 2008

June 26, 2010

Meet Travis

THE STARFISH STORY
Once there was a wise man who had a habit of walking
on the beach early each morning.

One day, he saw a young boy far in the distance and,

as he got closer, the wise man called out, 

“Good Morning! May I ask what it is you are doing?” 

The boy looked up and replied, 

“Throwing starfish into the ocean to save them.”

Seeing hundreds of starfish scattered along the
shoreline, the wise man commented, 

“But you can’t possibly save them all!
There are far too many!”

With that, the boy reached down and
picked up another starfish. 

He threw it into the ocean and replied, 

“It made a difference for that one.”

For about 5 years now, Tom and I have been supporting a little boy in Uganda.  His name is Travis and we "adopted" him through the Mirembe House - Starfish Programme.  This program (and our monthly donation) helps him attend school and supplies him with text books and other necessities.  Travis, however, is not an orphan.  He lives with his Grandmother who is gracious enough to send us yearly updates on how Travis is doing, and to thank us for our support and gifts.  She always starts her letters with "Dear Godmother & Godfather Thomas Recke Family".  This is a special treat, knowing that through the grace of God, we have an extension of our family living in Africa!  That reminds me... funny story:  I showed C the picture and read him the letter.  The conversation went something like this...

Me:  "C, this is Travis.  He lives in Africa and we send him money to help with his education.  Do you want me to read his letter to you?"

C:  "Yes!" (jumping up and down and clapping...he is so enthusiastic, bless him)

Me:  blah, blah, blah (it didn't say that, but I'm omitting most of the letter here so as not to bore you too badly)..."tell me, how is my brother?  Is he good?  Is he getting taller like me?  Does he like football & running like me?"

C:  "I HAVE A BROTHER?!" (more jumping up and down, more clapping)

Me:  "Well, sort of.  Mommy and Daddy are Travis' Godparents (not literally, mind you) so Travis is like a brother...a God-brother."

C:  "I have a BROTHER!!  I want to see him!"

Me:  "We can't right now because he lives a long ways away, but hopefully someday we can travel to meet him."

C:  "I can't wait!  I'm going to go tell Daddy I have a BROTHER!!"

Me:  "Make sure you bring the letter with you so Daddy doesn't freak out..!"

C's reaction to all of this really brought home the kind of excitement and enthusiasm we should have as followers of Christ.  To help even one child is such a blessing...reminding us that we can make a difference in this world, one starfish at a time.

A new year, a new blog

Ok, so first of all, Spongebob Squarepants is simply on here as a homage to our son's latest cartoon favorite. Actually, it's also my favorite since it is a 1/2 hour long and typically not the same thing over and over and over...like Shrek movies for instance. :)
Anyway, I thought it was time to move on to a cheerier blog page and one that chronicles our life as we adjust to having a toddler in the house. Actually, C turns 4 this Monday (Feb. 4), so is he still a toddler? Not so sure, and he is quick to tell us he is not a baby anymore (sigh, how fast they grow when they start to understand English).

We are also excited to announce that we are expecting a second child this summer. Not by adoption though! Just a few weeks ago I realized that I am pregnant. I actually was newly pregnant while in Hungary which fully explains my misery and mood swings. I never in a million years expected to get pregnant, so I was a tad bit in denial over the past few months. Even after the positive home pregnancy test and doctor confirmation, I was still thinking it was all a big mistake and we'd find nothing in an ultrasound. Low and behold, there sure is a baby in there! I just reached the 20th week, so it is all a lot to wrap our heads around. I am getting used to it, although I am forbidding myself to watch "A Baby Story" on Lifetime since I get all emotional and quite scared about the delivery. We have told C he is going to have a little brother or sister, but I don't think he is getting it completely. He does say there is a baby in Mommy's tummy, so we'll see. We are hoping that none of this stresses him out our makes him think he is being replaced. His well-being is so critical right now and we want him to feel safe and to trust us that we will never give him up.

Speaking of which, we are dealing with attachment issues. Adoption is not easy to do, nor is it easy to adjust to. Feelings and thoughts I never thought I'd have keep popping up, like does C love me or is he still looking for his mommy? He has a tendency to bond really quickly with other women, particularly the teachers in his preschool. Our social worker said this most likely is not RAD, but more of a defense mechanism on C's part to make sure that whoever his next caretaker is loves him and pays attention to him. It makes some sense to me since C has basically been passed on to different women caretakers all his life. It makes me a bit nervous though, because I want him to see me as his final and forever mom. I'm sure in time this will all come to pass, but right now it is hard! Tom has no problem since he is the first man in C's life and is not going through hormonal mood swings right now. Lucky! ;)



p.s. For those who want details on C's adoption, go here to our adoption blog.