"To be (Daphne), or not to be?"

Today there was a blog post that went viral.  It was talked about on all of the news shows, both locally and nationally.  It was a post about hate and intolerance.  But not because the author was the victim of hate, rather she was inciter of hate.  You see, she has a son who chose to dress as Daphne from “Scooby Doo” for Halloween.  While that is a tad disturbing in of itself (to me), I find her behavior to be even more so.  She opted to post a picture of her son in his Daphne costume on her blog and write “My Son is Gay” across the top of it.  Her next sentence in the post is, “or he’s not”, but by then she has garnered the attention she so desperately desired in that dramatic caption.  The damage is done.  That poor boy.  Has he any idea that his mom has made him (inadvertently or not) the poster child for cross-dressing and homosexuality?  That by using his image she has managed to exploit him for her own agenda?  That this is now on the internet to be later pulled up by anyone and everyone for years to come?  What was she thinking?!

So that is all disturbing in its own right, but the even more disturbing part?  The majority of people out there praise her behavior as heroic and brave.  She has become the icon of social acceptance…all at the expense of her son.  I know she does not get it.  I know that she is basking in the glow fame and adoration.  But I wish she would step back a moment and realize that her 5 year old son is just a child, and not an activist.  When he picked out his costume, he was thinking as a child who simply wanted to be a character he liked on TV.  He was not thinking of the statement he would make, or how much discussion his choice would garner.  He was being a kid…a kid who made a choice to be something that generally does not align with his gender.

But was his choice a wise one?

That’s where mature parenting comes in.  I firmly believe that this child needed guidance.  He needed a parent to sit down and, without ridiculing him on his costume choice, discuss the appropriateness of the costume…and what the possible consequences of his choice might be.  Maybe despite it all, he would have stayed the course and insisted on the costume anyway.  Or maybe (heaven forbid) he would have seen that the consequences and apprehension that he later encountered were valid and it was ok to rethink his first choice.

I can’t help but think of what I would have done if it had been my son who wanted to be Daphne.  Admittedly, I would not have liked it.  I would have struggled with it.  But I would have talked about it with him.  I would have pointed out that he is a boy…wouldn’t he like to be in a boy costume?  Wouldn’t he like to be Scooby or Shaggy…or Fred?  You see, I do not see anything wrong in showing kids the distinctive line between girls and boys.  Society wants to call this close-mindedness (just read the comments to the blog post).  The masses want to blur that line so that everyone is essentially asexual, with nothing distinguishing a male from a female and vice versa. 

The trouble with that is, people are now more confused than ever about who God created them to be.   

Blurring the lines of sexuality breeds insecurity and indecision.  Life is hard enough, why do we insist on making it harder by advocating homosexuality and trans-gender acceptance?  Why is it wrong to tell a small child that he is a boy and should dress and act accordingly?  Why is it a disservice to raise him up to be who God created him to be? 

The ironic thing in all of this is, the mom speaks disparagingly of the way other moms in the (Christian) preschool reacted when they saw her son.  She was quick to judge and demean them in her blog post…the very thing she said they did to her son at school.  But these ladies cannot defend themselves, and no one has stepped up to verify that this did occur that way this “mom” described.  My take?  The mom more than likely knew there would be issues with her son’s costume and was prepared for the battle even before she walked in the door (as a matter of fact, she mentions that her son was having misgivings on the costume just before school, but she "blew it off" and made him wear it to school anyway).  She wanted it to be a big deal.  She was ready to fight, and knew what she was doing.  As I’ve said before, that poor boy.  He deserves better.

All that said, I am disappointed in how many people out there think that this mom who exploited her kid is some kind of hero.  As I’ve said before, it’s very disturbing.