Anyway, I thought it was time to move on to a cheerier blog page and one that chronicles our life as we adjust to having a toddler in the house. Actually, C turns 4 this Monday (Feb. 4), so is he still a toddler? Not so sure, and he is quick to tell us he is not a baby anymore (sigh, how fast they grow when they start to understand English).
We are also excited to announce that we are expecting a second child this summer. Not by adoption though! Just a few weeks ago I realized that I am pregnant. I actually was newly pregnant while in Hungary which fully explains my misery and mood swings. I never in a million years expected to get pregnant, so I was a tad bit in denial over the past few months. Even after the positive home pregnancy test and doctor confirmation, I was still thinking it was all a big mistake and we'd find nothing in an ultrasound. Low and behold, there sure is a baby in there! I just reached the 20th week, so it is all a lot to wrap our heads around. I am getting used to it, although I am forbidding myself to watch "A Baby Story" on Lifetime since I get all emotional and quite scared about the delivery. We have told C he is going to have a little brother or sister, but I don't think he is getting it completely. He does say there is a baby in Mommy's tummy, so we'll see. We are hoping that none of this stresses him out our makes him think he is being replaced. His well-being is so critical right now and we want him to feel safe and to trust us that we will never give him up.
Speaking of which, we are dealing with attachment issues. Adoption is not easy to do, nor is it easy to adjust to. Feelings and thoughts I never thought I'd have keep popping up, like does C love me or is he still looking for his mommy? He has a tendency to bond really quickly with other women, particularly the teachers in his preschool. Our social worker said this most likely is not RAD, but more of a defense mechanism on C's part to make sure that whoever his next caretaker is loves him and pays attention to him. It makes some sense to me since C has basically been passed on to different women caretakers all his life. It makes me a bit nervous though, because I want him to see me as his final and forever mom. I'm sure in time this will all come to pass, but right now it is hard! Tom has no problem since he is the first man in C's life and is not going through hormonal mood swings right now. Lucky! ;)
p.s. For those who want details on C's adoption, go here to our adoption blog.
