:: A Moment of Reflection

You want to know how a huge God-thing is happening? It's when a woman of God meets with tragedy and the blogosphere lights up with prayer and well-wishes in the span of a day.  It's when friends, near and far, rally around and sing her praises as a friend, a mother, a sister, a wife.  It's when she has friends who care deeply for her and lift her up in prayer when she needs it most.  That, my friends, is the work of God's love...being lived out here on this earth.

:: Heartbroken

"Break my heart, God, for what breaks Yours."

I believe God's heart is breaking for the orphan.  I've been struggling lately with the desire to adopt again, and how to reconcile this desire with current family circumstances.  I'm not sure what is ideal anymore, but I do know that now is not the best time for us to consider adoption.  So why is MY heart breaking for the orphans?  What can little insignificant *me* do about it?

"To be (Daphne), or not to be?"

Today there was a blog post that went viral.  It was talked about on all of the news shows, both locally and nationally.  It was a post about hate and intolerance.  But not because the author was the victim of hate, rather she was inciter of hate.  You see, she has a son who chose to dress as Daphne from “Scooby Doo” for Halloween.  While that is a tad disturbing in of itself (to me), I find her behavior to be even more so.  She opted to post a picture of her son in his Daphne costume on her blog and write “My Son is Gay” across the top of it.  Her next sentence in the post is, “or he’s not”, but by then she has garnered the attention she so desperately desired in that dramatic caption.  The damage is done.  That poor boy.  Has he any idea that his mom has made him (inadvertently or not) the poster child for cross-dressing and homosexuality?  That by using his image she has managed to exploit him for her own agenda?  That this is now on the internet to be later pulled up by anyone and everyone for years to come?  What was she thinking?!

So that is all disturbing in its own right, but the even more disturbing part?  The majority of people out there praise her behavior as heroic and brave.  She has become the icon of social acceptance…all at the expense of her son.  I know she does not get it.  I know that she is basking in the glow fame and adoration.  But I wish she would step back a moment and realize that her 5 year old son is just a child, and not an activist.  When he picked out his costume, he was thinking as a child who simply wanted to be a character he liked on TV.  He was not thinking of the statement he would make, or how much discussion his choice would garner.  He was being a kid…a kid who made a choice to be something that generally does not align with his gender.

But was his choice a wise one?

That’s where mature parenting comes in.  I firmly believe that this child needed guidance.  He needed a parent to sit down and, without ridiculing him on his costume choice, discuss the appropriateness of the costume…and what the possible consequences of his choice might be.  Maybe despite it all, he would have stayed the course and insisted on the costume anyway.  Or maybe (heaven forbid) he would have seen that the consequences and apprehension that he later encountered were valid and it was ok to rethink his first choice.

I can’t help but think of what I would have done if it had been my son who wanted to be Daphne.  Admittedly, I would not have liked it.  I would have struggled with it.  But I would have talked about it with him.  I would have pointed out that he is a boy…wouldn’t he like to be in a boy costume?  Wouldn’t he like to be Scooby or Shaggy…or Fred?  You see, I do not see anything wrong in showing kids the distinctive line between girls and boys.  Society wants to call this close-mindedness (just read the comments to the blog post).  The masses want to blur that line so that everyone is essentially asexual, with nothing distinguishing a male from a female and vice versa. 

The trouble with that is, people are now more confused than ever about who God created them to be.   

Blurring the lines of sexuality breeds insecurity and indecision.  Life is hard enough, why do we insist on making it harder by advocating homosexuality and trans-gender acceptance?  Why is it wrong to tell a small child that he is a boy and should dress and act accordingly?  Why is it a disservice to raise him up to be who God created him to be? 

The ironic thing in all of this is, the mom speaks disparagingly of the way other moms in the (Christian) preschool reacted when they saw her son.  She was quick to judge and demean them in her blog post…the very thing she said they did to her son at school.  But these ladies cannot defend themselves, and no one has stepped up to verify that this did occur that way this “mom” described.  My take?  The mom more than likely knew there would be issues with her son’s costume and was prepared for the battle even before she walked in the door (as a matter of fact, she mentions that her son was having misgivings on the costume just before school, but she "blew it off" and made him wear it to school anyway).  She wanted it to be a big deal.  She was ready to fight, and knew what she was doing.  As I’ve said before, that poor boy.  He deserves better.

All that said, I am disappointed in how many people out there think that this mom who exploited her kid is some kind of hero.  As I’ve said before, it’s very disturbing.

Why Adopt?

I just recently posted this bumper sticker on my facebook page. It’s a BOLD statement, one that I knew could cause some controversy. Does this mean to be “pro-life” you need to adopt? On some level, I believe yes! To take a pro-life stance is to take a pro-child stance. If we ask others to keep their babies that were conceived not in the best of situations, to most likely be born not into the best of situations, we need the resources to care for those children in the event that they are orphaned or given up for adoption. Those “resources” should be the ones who ask demand that no child be murdered in the womb…Christians.


Hear me out. We are called by God to care for the orphans of the world (James 1:27). What does this look like? To me, at first it looked like sending money to some obscure orphanage in some obscure region in some poor country. And maybe, just maybe, someday I would go and physically be there in a show of support and Christian love…just to eventually leave for my cushy life in the US and resume the money-sending.

Until I began the process of adopting an orphan.

My true belief is that when we are called to care for orphans, we are called to give them homes…to give them parents! I don’t believe that there is one child out there who does not painfully yearn for a forever family. Even in the best of situations (when the orphanage is run well, is stocked with all necessities, has loving caregivers, etc.), children constantly look at the front door wondering, “when will my parents come to take me home?” (just ask a first-hand witness…my son). Sadly, most orphans do not receive quality care and many are left to lay in cribs day in and day out, being fed by bottles with the tips cut off so that they drink it quickly and the “caregiver” can move on to the next child asap. They rarely reach the age-appropriate milestones that are so critical in childhood development…thus severely handicapping them for life as an adult. Is this what God wants? For us to *only* send money so that these kids can languish in orphanages like that? For them to eventually become disconnected and ostracized members of adult society (if they don’t commit suicide before then)? I’m not so sure. For we were adopted into the family of God…He took us as his own - despite our seeming unworthiness - and promised us everlasting life with Him…NOT apart from Him (Eph 1:5).  Shouldn't we do the same?

Don’t get me wrong, I am SO not against sending money to support orphanages. On the contrary, we Christians should do everything we can to make sure that orphanages are supported and properly equipped. And I believe there is a niche of Christians who can easily do this…the unmarried, the elderly, the couples who do not feel called to have children, the families who are no longer expanding…yada, yada. But I would issue this challenge to those married couples who do want children…consider adoption. In Russia alone, there is over ¾ of a million orphans. That’s just one country. There’s also China, Africa, Latin American, South America, Europe, Haiti…and our own backyard, the USA. It’s utterly heartbreaking how many beautiful amazing children out there need forever families.

Adoption. Is it scary? Yes. Is it overwhelming? Yes. Is it uncomfortable? Yes, at times. Is it a blessing beyond comprehension? YES! I truly believe that God equips people with honest discernment when they earnestly seek His will in adoption. Does this mean everyone should pursue adoption? No, not necessarily. While I am very opinionated and passionate about this subject, I cannot (and will not) condemn others for not adopting. Ultimately it is a decision reached through much prayer and supplication. And it is a decision reached with God at the helm. Personally, I just find it disturbing that, out of so many Christian families expanding in America, so few even consider adoption. I’d like to see us getting a little out of our comfort zone…and a little out of the “but it’s not MY child” mentality. Because, Frankly speaking, even our biological children are on loan to us in this world. All children ultimately belong to God, but it’s up to US to care for them while we are all here. I’d love to someday see the seemingly impossible dream of orphanages becoming obsolete become reality…wouldn’t that be just so awesome?!

Oh, and there is always foster care to consider... ;)

Meet Travis

THE STARFISH STORY
Once there was a wise man who had a habit of walking
on the beach early each morning.

One day, he saw a young boy far in the distance and,

as he got closer, the wise man called out, 

“Good Morning! May I ask what it is you are doing?” 

The boy looked up and replied, 

“Throwing starfish into the ocean to save them.”

Seeing hundreds of starfish scattered along the
shoreline, the wise man commented, 

“But you can’t possibly save them all!
There are far too many!”

With that, the boy reached down and
picked up another starfish. 

He threw it into the ocean and replied, 

“It made a difference for that one.”

For about 5 years now, Tom and I have been supporting a little boy in Uganda.  His name is Travis and we "adopted" him through the Mirembe House - Starfish Programme.  This program (and our monthly donation) helps him attend school and supplies him with text books and other necessities.  Travis, however, is not an orphan.  He lives with his Grandmother who is gracious enough to send us yearly updates on how Travis is doing, and to thank us for our support and gifts.  She always starts her letters with "Dear Godmother & Godfather Thomas Recke Family".  This is a special treat, knowing that through the grace of God, we have an extension of our family living in Africa!  That reminds me... funny story:  I showed C the picture and read him the letter.  The conversation went something like this...

Me:  "C, this is Travis.  He lives in Africa and we send him money to help with his education.  Do you want me to read his letter to you?"

C:  "Yes!" (jumping up and down and clapping...he is so enthusiastic, bless him)

Me:  blah, blah, blah (it didn't say that, but I'm omitting most of the letter here so as not to bore you too badly)..."tell me, how is my brother?  Is he good?  Is he getting taller like me?  Does he like football & running like me?"

C:  "I HAVE A BROTHER?!" (more jumping up and down, more clapping)

Me:  "Well, sort of.  Mommy and Daddy are Travis' Godparents (not literally, mind you) so Travis is like a brother...a God-brother."

C:  "I have a BROTHER!!  I want to see him!"

Me:  "We can't right now because he lives a long ways away, but hopefully someday we can travel to meet him."

C:  "I can't wait!  I'm going to go tell Daddy I have a BROTHER!!"

Me:  "Make sure you bring the letter with you so Daddy doesn't freak out..!"

C's reaction to all of this really brought home the kind of excitement and enthusiasm we should have as followers of Christ.  To help even one child is such a blessing...reminding us that we can make a difference in this world, one starfish at a time.

Thought for the day...

“Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it.”

“Well, why don’t you ask Him?”

“Because I’m afraid He would ask me the same question.”

(Anonymous) -a quote from A Hole in the Gospel, by Richard Stearn, President of World Vision.

She said it best...

 *UPDATE:  I rejoined the land of Facebook, if only so that people are not thinking I "de-friended" them.  I will, however, keep my use of it to a bare minimum...

Since I am no longer facebooking, I find I have time to stalk blogs again. This is important to me because often I am quite simply inspired by what my sisters in Christ are ruminating on, even though I may not know them from Eve.  This lady recently talked about "Designer babies, designer God" where her honesty and forthrightness is refreshing, especially in these times of tolerance and political-correctness (and dare I say, selfishness?!).  Then, in light of yesterday's post, I found this on the (in)courage website, which made me weep.  I'm glad I am not alone.

Rainy Day Doldrums

It's been raining for 2 days straight now.  I am not a cloudy day person, I need my sun!  Plus, I've been in a bit of a slump lately.  I'm not sure why sometimes it seems nothing is going right and life is just plain hard.  I believe this is a valley, Biblically speaking.  C has been struggling at school again, just after having weeks of mostly great days.  It could be due to the approach of summer and the end of school since it seems all students seem to catch a form of "senior-itis", regardless of grade.  I just don't know and he really can't communicate what prompts him to act out, so we are at a loss here.  What makes it frustrating is the fact that he has already been held back a year and we just don't have that option going forward...he has to start kindergarten sometime!  This is where faith comes in, and I just need to trust God that all will work out in the end....which is hard to do when in a valley. *sigh*

I also am realizing just what "terrible two's" means.  That phrase does not do it justice.  It should be the "demonic two's"  or "psycho two's", seriously.  How a child can sit in one spot, having nothing change around her, and run the gamut of happy, sad, mad, and furious (in under a minute) confounds me.  All I can do is stare at her and wait for the next wave to hit.  I've quit trying to figure out how to appease her (perhaps this is how Tom feels with me from time to time...ba dum dum) and just pray that this goes as quickly as it came.

Then there is this restlessness bubbling up inside of me.  Over the years, whenever I've felt this way, I would make a dramatic change.  I would either move, quit my job, or cut my hair in some dramatic fashion.  But now, now I feel trapped.  I can't just up and move, I have a family it would impact.  Tom's business is here so leaving Colorado is not an option...ever.  We can't sell our house and buy a bigger one until we have finances better controlled and our house actually has some equity.  I have no job to quit and, even though I've been dusting off my resume, there are barely any kitchen design opportunities out there right now.  I could cut my hair, but I have yet (in the 6.5 years I've lived here) to find someone I trust to cut my hair that dramatically.  So, I'm trapped.  I want to search for another church, but Tom is pretty much dedicated to the one we attend and the kids seem to like it well enough.  I'm not happy there, but I'm only 25% of the vote.  I'm sure this is just part of the doldrums, but I am frustrated with attending churches where the senior pastor has just left.  I seem to somehow get stuck in the tractor beam of  those churches, as this is literally the fourth church in like 10 years where there is major upheaval.  Over it!

So, I am going to dedicate this summer to ME.  I am going to not focus on anything but getting my poo together and making some serious changes.  I quit facebook since it literally wastes too much time and frankly gets a bit annoying.  I am going to play & exercise outside more, finally get serious about dieting, and focus on how to be a Godly wife and mother.  Hopefully doing those few things will make it a productive summer and allow me to find pleasure and satisfaction in the things I cannot change.  We'll see.  I'll keep you posted. ;)

My Cup Runneth Over...

So, you know how God chooses the most amazing ways to communicate when we need it most and, like me, we sometimes often forget to run to His Word for reassurance?  Well, lately I've been struggling with my decision to be a stay-at-home mom.  It's HARD!  It's a 24/7 job that seriously lacks in accolades.  Today I was online doing my typical stress-reducing blog hunt when I came across this blog.  One of her posts just spoke to me in a song she references.  Read these lyrics, and take heart all you moms out there!

These are the lyrics to "Sacred" by Caedmon's Call on their new album titled Overdressed.

This house is a good mess

it’s the proof of life

no way would I trade jobs

but it don’t pay overtime

I’ll get to the laundry

I don’t know when

I’m saying a prayer tonight

cause tomorrow it starts again

could it be that everything is sacred?

and all this time

everything I’ve dreamed of

has been right before my eyes

the children are sleeping

but they’re running through my mind

the sun makes them happy

and the music makes them unwind

my cup runneth over

and I worry about the stain

teach me to run to You

like they run to me for every little thing

when I forget to drink from you

I can feel the banks harden

Lord, make me like a stream

to feed the garden

wake up, little sleeper

the Lord, God Almighty

made your Mama keeper

so rise and shine, rise and shine

rise and shine cause

everything is sacred

and all this time

everything I’ve dreamed of

has been right before my eyes

TeeVee Shmeevee

Ok, so big changes coming in the Recke household. Actually, they will be minimal for outsiders but huge for us. We have made the radical decision to end our cable subscription and move away from the hypnotizing pull of TV. Tom wants to throw the TV out with the garbage, but I've manged to coerce nudge him into at least getting a converter box to keep the local stations. What led us to this radical decision you ask? Well, lots of reasons. Number one is the permeation of Hollywood influences in which traditional family values are slowly being eroded by "new normals". Those new normals are slowly de-sensitizing us to what God wants for us, and actually leads to us convincing ourselves that those things are not harmful as long as our faith is strong. What?! I speak of TV, but I have long held this policy for movies too. I never got into the frenzy of "Harry Potter" and am very leery of "Twilight"...things of the occult just scare me, even if they are "fiction". Same goes for anything with sexual or violent over (or even under) tones. I guess this all means less movies too...

The second reason is that we see C becoming less creative in his activity. If the TV is on, no matter what is on, he is literally zoned out. It's a scary thing when we can look back at 2 years ago when he hardly cared about TV. We feel guilty for having anesthetized him with cartoons for so long now. And I guess we also see that it is dividing our family. Instead of doing things as a family, we are all retreating to our separate corners and either watching TV or playing on the computer. Not very constructive and it breaks my heart that my kids might grow up seeing more of Spongebob Squarepants than of Mommy & Daddy. So, from December 1st and on, 6-9pm is family time with no technology...except for the ipod if we have to resort to dancing contests for entertainment (E loves to dance)!

The upsides to all of this? Probably too numerous to even guess, but mostly I truly believe we will be a stronger family unit. I hope that C will develop a stronger desire to learn and read, and that will trickle down to E as she matures. We will also commit to regularly using local recreation centers (this will be more than covered with the money we save in cable bills) for exercise and developmental activities. It also will get me off my butt more since daytime TV has become somewhat of an anesthetizer for me as well! Not to mention, I will get more "me time" since the rec center offers babysitting services while I work out. Why didn't I do this sooner?!

Speaking of "me time", I have been taking cake decorating classes. I finally have my creative outlet...with the only downside being we have weekly cakes to consume. This week I downsized from the 8" round to the 6" round so that hopefully it disappears faster. What I'm finding though, the taste and smell of buttercream frosting gets old really fast. I can actually frost a cake now without keeping a spoonful for myself. Progress! I will post pictures of my most successful creations when I get a chance.

Have a great Thanksigiving everyone! Hug your family and BE THANKFUL!!

9/11

It's been 8 years since that tragic day. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I hear about people recalling where they were when they heard the news...I was in my car going to my 6am boot camp workout in San Jose, CA. At that time they didn't know it was a commercial airplane and that it was a terrorist attack. An hour later I was back in the car hearing with horror that another plane had crashed into the towers. I stayed home from work, glued to the television coverage and realizing that someone had declared war on us. It was so surreal. I was angry, I was heartbroken, I was fiercely patriotic. I think for once all Americans felt the same way and for a brief moment in time we were truly the United States of America. I will never forget. And I will always be proud of the men and women who answered the call to defend our country, regardless of political agendas. My husband was one of them and I love him for that.

On to current dilemmas. C has been back in school for 2 weeks now. I was so looking forward to whittling down to one child for half the day...I could run errands and get things done that are normally much more complicated with 2 children in tow. Well, that part is good. The part that is not so good is the fact that we have either A) a class clown or B) a child with ADHD on our hands. Not sure which and we are working to get him evaluated by professionals. Honestly, every day that I go to pick up C, I pray that he behaved and that I get the "good boy" report. It happens about half of the time. There is no rhyme or reason to his bad vs. good days. One day he is Beaver Cleaver, the next day he is Eddie Haskell. I never know which personality will emerge and it is aggravating! We bribe, we threaten, we cry...I just don't know what registers with the kid. The thing is, he never had any accountability for the the first 4 years of his life. Being an orphan, his basic needs were met but that was it. There were no expectations, no responsibilities. I doubt he even heard the word "no" very much. Urg.
On the other hand, E has heard the word "no" and is saying it quite often. Double urg. Perhaps I should go back to work...ha.